tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32819413283722535212023-11-15T22:49:42.463-08:00Tilting at TreadmillsRVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-63891213143626532772010-04-30T12:44:00.001-07:002010-04-30T13:06:31.700-07:00Arizona Immigration Mad-Libs<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">Perusing Wikipedia (like I do) in regards to the recent Arizona immigration flap, I looked up Gov. Jan Brewer and then her predecessor and current head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano. I came across this section of her page:<br /><br />****<br /><b>Right-wing extremism memo controversy</b></span><span style=" font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:12.0pt;line-height:normal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><br /></span></b><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">Napolitano was the subject of controversy after a Department of Homeland Security threat assessment report initiated during the administration of George W. Bush, entitled "Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment," was made public in April 2009. The report suggested several factors, including the election of the first black or mixed race President in the person of Barack Obama, perceived future gun control measures, illegal immigration, the economic downturn beginning in 2008, the abortion controversy, and disgruntled military veterans' possible vulnerability to recruitment efforts by extremist groups as potential risk factors regarding right-wing extremism recruitment.<br /><br />On April 16, 2009, the Thomas More Law Center, a conservative Christian public interest law firm based in Ann Arbor, Michigan, filed suit against DHS on behalf of controversial radio talk show host and political commentator Michael Savage, executive director of the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform Gregg Cunningham, and Iraqi War Marine veteran Kevin Murray. Savage stated that the document "encourages law enforcement officers throughout the nation to target and report citizens to federal officials as suspicious right-wing extremists and potential terrorists because of their political beliefs."<br /><br />****<br />http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_Napolitano#Right-wing_extremism_memo_controversy<br />(sources for those quotes can be found on the bottom of the Wiki page)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">Savage's quote at the end of the passage got to me, and now I'd like to play Mad-Libs. Here's the original quote, taken from www.wnd.com, 9/25/09:</span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">"The lawsuit further claims DHS encouraged law enforcement officers throughout the nation to target and report citizens to federal officials as suspicious rightwing extremists and potential terrorists because of their political beliefs."</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">Now it's my turn:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">"The [law] further [requires] law enforcement officers throughout [Arizona] to target and report [anyone] to federal officials as suspicious [immigrants] and potential terrorists because of their [ethnicity or country of origin]."</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">For a second, let's forget about the immigration "debate," and let's look at simple Logic 101 structure here: in this case, the dangers of suspicion are cited as unlawful and overreaching, but for some reason, one side has every right to be suspicious, and the other side is considered trampling on freedom. According to Michael Savage, you're not allowed to be suspicious of anyone being a right-wing extremist with a large arsenal; according to many on the right, you ARE allowed to be suspicious of anyone who looks different of being an illegal immigrant. I like consistency, but this ain't it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">Back to the issue itself, this game says something about the line of reasoning used by supporters who claim this law isn't based on race nor lead to racial profiling. However, the law is pretty clear that in order to arrest someone on these grounds, they can do as little as look like a certain type of people, which is the very definition of racial profiling. Should someone forget their passport or proof of status at home, should someone's accent be thick enough, should seem foreign enough, they are subject to arrest. To paraphrase Seth Meyers, since when has the phrase "WHERE ARE YOUR PAPERS?" ever been a heroic, patriotic call?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";font-family:";font-size:12.0pt;color:black;">There are a number on the right who are not extremists by any means and look down upon this law and its constitutionality like the rest of the country. Reports are coming in of Chiefs of Police and other law enforcement personnel that are refusing to enforce this debacle. That sort of unity shows growing opinion, if not for immigrants, then at least with the idea that some actions go too far. It lends credence and validity to complaints around the country; you're likelier to listen to points made by those that are generally on your side, rather than the opposition. At least these conservatives are consistent. I’d like to think that they would like a much more peaceful resolution to the immigration debate. We’re a country of variety and diversity, not a country for the fringe, or one lone state.</span></p>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-50218794799966803602010-02-14T08:47:00.001-08:002010-02-24T23:09:20.090-08:00Filipinas = Solution to Ending Middle-Aged Virginity (blaargh)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq2ggnAe7qsiC0OyuvLscKi6-q-jYoFN0RbCixF8mZbmN5ciSbJVVE4g2cW7MbVMi1hNwbBwNFxx9zNNgTHYQxS3oTYdZWiW-h5DqXtykQ9aqUprlodPcRo-Wd6n6cF_YI_Jcd5DHV/s1600-h/blog+post.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 133px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq2ggnAe7qsiC0OyuvLscKi6-q-jYoFN0RbCixF8mZbmN5ciSbJVVE4g2cW7MbVMi1hNwbBwNFxx9zNNgTHYQxS3oTYdZWiW-h5DqXtykQ9aqUprlodPcRo-Wd6n6cF_YI_Jcd5DHV/s200/blog+post.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438143200562924386" /></a><br /><br />I don't know if this article is serious or not, but either way, it's in pretty bad taste. <br /><br /><a href="http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/article/4/0/3/18403.jpg?v=1">Cheryl Lavin through Mark: End Your 45-year Cold Streak, Find a Filipina Wife</a><br /><br />Here are some thoughts: <br /><br />1. According to "Mark," American women care too much about sex. So much so that he won't have sex with them. Filipinas don't care about sex. If Filipinas don't care about sex, then they're zombies in bed. As if Filipinas enjoyed sex less than women in other countries! That's pretty darn offensive. And gross.<br /><br />2. If you're in your mid-forties and still a virgin, the...re's probably a good reason for that.<br /><br />3. "Mark" is definitely not taking into account factors such as poverty and race-induced status, like the desire to take whatever you can get.<br /><br />4. Hold on a sec: you say the women you've been with only wanted sex so you remained a virgin, but you go to the Philippines for sex anyway? I'm gonna take a guess and say those women from your past weren't Filipinas. <br /><br />5. You use women to fill an emotional gap, while women use you to get out of the country. Either way, that's kinda screwed up. <br /><br />6. Two words: Sexual Colonialism.<br /><br />7. "I know that there are many Filipino women who would like very much to meet a nice American man and take care of him." -- while we're at it, let's put down Filipino men, too! "What you need is an AMERICAN." <br /><br />8. While there are definitely differences that should be explored in any multicultural relationship, doing so from a position of power and privilege over the other is definitely not the way to go. <br /><br />9. This will be said more than once: "WOMAN! Stay in the kitchen and make me some of dat dere lumpia!"<br /><br />10. "Many of the women I met when I was there can't understand why American people are so fixated with having sex. There's no divorce over there, and the biggest reason for that is because they value positive personal qualities like honesty, loyalty and sincerity in one's actions over how outgoing and charming a person is." -- Let's completely forget the number of people who won't leave due to family or societal pressures, even if they're the victims of theft, dishonesty, infidelity, and domestic abuse.<br /><br />To say that I'm disappointed in what's traditionally Chicago's major progressive paper would be an understatement. I'm planning on writing a letter to the Sun-Times and Cheryl Levin soon along these lines:<br /><br />"Dear Sun-Times,<br /><br />Please do not promote any more outdated ideas about: submissive Asian women, encouraging people to take advantage of different cultures for sexual pleasure, and/or to make up for their poor social development and self-esteem through exotic gratification. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br />The 21st Century"<br /><br />-----<br />EDIT:<br /><br />Before I published this post, I wrote an earlier draft on facebook. Travis had this to say about Levin's column:<br /><br />"Why would a serious journalist, ironically or otherwise, post this as a valid option? Also: I love this man's presupposition that his inability to have a long-term relationship with an American woman was because they're such whores and they can't appreciate how special he is. I doubt that's the issue. She should have pseudonymed him Dick instead of Mark."<br /><br />I responded:<br /><br />"^Good point about "Dick." :)<br /><br />Clearly the guy doesn't want to address the real issues as to why he's been celibate for this long. And celibacy isn't necessarily a bad thing either, and yet he chooses (that's right, chooses) to use "advice" as a way of framing his latent needs of exoticism and his desire to feel superior to someone (in this case, all Filipino men as a whole)."RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-23918361588388730102009-09-24T19:24:00.000-07:002009-09-24T19:44:36.724-07:00Surprise Vs. Saturation<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4U-Qz8yzxVQ&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4U-Qz8yzxVQ&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Above: the greatest endgame play ever</span><br /><br />In last night's episode of Glee, our heroic football team is scoreless and on the verge of defeat with scant seconds ticking down. The quarterback Finn Hudson gets the genius idea to pull off one heck of a surprise which is just enough to score a game-winning touchdown. Inspired by this show of creativity, the coach sends in Kurt Hummel, Finn's fellow Glee Clubber and flamboyantly unlikely teammate for the field goal kick. Our heroes win the game, Finn is congratulated for his unconventional strategy, and Kurt has won so much of his father's approval that he becomes confident enough to confess a secret to him.<br /><br />I know all this because of Facebook. I fetched the video from Huffington Post (yes, I'm a leftist moderate. Deal with it). Rest assured, the team dancing to Single Ladies is hilarious enough. But I had quite a number of friends who just couldn't stop talking about the scene (and rightfully so). I've heard tales of friends with goosebumps that their favorite song was used to unique and full effect, whereas I was on duty and couldn't watch it.<br /><br />I haven't seen the full episode yet. I don't know if there was foreshadowing for the audacious play, but if there was, then expecting the routine would be a credit and reward for the audience figuring it out. If there was no foreshadowing, then just the unexpected explosion of music would cement the warm absurdity. Both forms of surprise would be great. I wonder just what the surprise would have felt like had I watched the show and become engrossed with it. It's one thing to read about something that's already happened, but to see something special unfold before your very eyes? That's the magic of TV, film, theatre, etc.<br /><br />Of course, it's hard to be surprised these days in an age of spoilers and rapid information thanks to Twitter and 24 hour news and Facebook. For me, that's not too much of a problem. Rather, my problem isn't so much that there's too much information, but that there's enough information to rob the initial joy of finding something out for yourself. If there's a show that only you watch, or if you investigate something and only you find the conclusion, there's a certain pride in telling others about it, so that they might learn or take part in what makes you enjoy what you found. On some metatextual level, reading about it on Facebook doesn't seem like your friend told you, it seems like Facebook told you. It's a layer that removes part of the fun, I think. In some strange twist, because of that removed layer, I can't really fault anyone for the spoiler, either. These days how do you tell people anymore and retain that sense of discovery?RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-88655492733470119182009-09-08T18:32:00.000-07:002009-09-08T18:35:18.068-07:00Breakthrough!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbYXikVPgEPKTt5PpCXHT5odCPS1CIpP49LecM43pitI98L5E7lvg9yKgQIz2zDgcYCdio9CI5aQ6unzi28F2uY3uFet8oilSXg78SH_1t6OLHh2cpe1AEtoauplQ-0RpQcFd_diXU/s1600-h/scottyhole.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 244px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbYXikVPgEPKTt5PpCXHT5odCPS1CIpP49LecM43pitI98L5E7lvg9yKgQIz2zDgcYCdio9CI5aQ6unzi28F2uY3uFet8oilSXg78SH_1t6OLHh2cpe1AEtoauplQ-0RpQcFd_diXU/s200/scottyhole.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379275182040422386" border="0" /></a>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-67518526579054087282009-08-28T18:50:00.000-07:002009-08-28T18:58:37.104-07:00Ode to Spot<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://th06.deviantart.net/fs47/300W/i/2009/166/f/4/Star_Trek__Data_and_Spot_by_Frenchie1941.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 233px; height: 292px;" src="http://th06.deviantart.net/fs47/300W/i/2009/166/f/4/Star_Trek__Data_and_Spot_by_Frenchie1941.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(image from DeviantArt)</span><br /></div><dl><dd><i>Felis catus</i> is your taxonomic nomenclature,<br /></dd><dd>An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;<br /></dd><dd>Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses<br /></dd><dd>Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.<br /><br /></dd><dd>I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,<br /></dd><dd>A singular development of cat communications<br /></dd><dd>That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection<br /></dd><dd>For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.<br /><br /></dd><dd>A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;<br /></dd><dd>You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.<br /></dd><dd>And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,<br /></dd><dd>It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.<br /><br /></dd><dd>O Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display<br /></dd><dd>Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.<br /></dd><dd>And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,<br /></dd><dd>I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.</dd></dl><div style="text-align: center;"> -- Lt. Cmdr. Data</div>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-60367973879027980602009-08-20T19:21:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:47:22.028-07:00And Now, Parking Tickets!<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://theexpiredmeter.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/smart-car-perp3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 351px; height: 234px;" src="http://theexpiredmeter.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/smart-car-perp3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />(Hey, why not?)</span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">The following excerpt is from Time Out Chicago (week of 8/20/09). I've given tips (or rather, venting sessions) about rules of the highway and proper driving procedure. As a change of pace, this article provides some insider tips about parking tickets. This should be especially useful since the city's much aligned (and, let's face it, horribly run) privatized parking deal with LAZ. Also of note, parking by the lake won't be free anymore by the end of the summer, which makes the article even more helpful.<br /></span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">*****<br /></span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Former City Parking-Enforcement Officer</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">About 2.6 million parking tickets are written annually in Chicago, and only 10 percent are contested. That’s a shame, says Sheldon Zeiger, the former city hearing officer who wrote and published Stick it to your ticket (12.95), a guide to demystifying the battle against tyrannical parking fines. “All the citizen needs to do in his defense is reduce the case to 50/50, and the hearing officer should dismiss it, “Zeiger says.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">As soon as you spot the orange slip on your car, don’t toss it into your glove compartment. Zeiger suggests a little crime-scene investigating. “Was the ticket written properly? Did the officer write down the right location? The right plate number? The right make? Did he put the right time? Let’s say there’s a real problem with the location – the officer wrote down the 200 block of Halsted but you were parked on the 300 block of Halsted. Right there you can contest the ticket and say, ‘Look, the ticket wasn’t written correctly on its face.’ A lot of tickets are dismissed for that reason.”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">If all the basic ID information is correct, look at the explanation for the ticket. You might realize you’re being ticketed for a sign violation but there aren’t any signs there or they’re obscured, “ Zeiger says. Now, you can begin forming your defense—gathering evidence and witnesses. “Take photos with your cell phone and ask members of your party to sign a notarized statement.”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Your defense should not be based on excuses. In deciding more than 100,000 parking-ticket cases over 15 years, Zeiger says he’s heard of everying from variations on the Good Samaritan (“I was reading to the blind. How could you ticket me?”) to claims of sexual blackmail (“The officer tried to pick me up and when I said no, he gave me a ticket”). “Excuses never work,” Zeiger says,</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">“but proof does.”</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">*****</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Bad Luck Trends Help Us All</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Just looking over the 8/20 edition of the Sun-Times, we have:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">-a 20 year old suspect randomly attacking Tom Barrett, who just happens to be mayor of Milwaukee</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">-two men attacking firefighter Matt Jones in a spot right on a CPD patrol route<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">-a man scarfing down a sandwich and sloppily licking his fingers after each bite, perhaps unknowingly conversing with nationally-syndicated columnist and critic Richard Roeper</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Three stories and three chance encounters. In each instance, the anonymous perpetrator had no idea that he was basically committing these acts while around public (actual or eventual) figures. While it's true that one should pretty much be on good behavior everytime they're out and about, it's doubly more important when you realize that you never know who you'll meet some day. Beating up a mayor and a firefighter could bring about extra charges that wouldn't normally come from attacking a regular joe, but then again, you don't really know who's a regular joe and who's not. The solution to this problem is simple: treat everyone as if they're not.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style="font-size:85%;">As for the finger-licking man by Roeper? That's just gross, man. It may not be a crime, but it's annoying and sick, and getting publicized like that is punishment that fits the crime. *blech!*</span><br /></span></p>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-84742805720340908582009-08-14T19:51:00.000-07:002009-10-14T17:06:42.088-07:00Downe and Very Out<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://blog.timesunion.com/movies/files/2009/07/bruno.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 440px; height: 373px;" src="http://blog.timesunion.com/movies/files/2009/07/bruno.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>
<br /><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;" >Above: Bruno, clearly happy that I'm reviewing his film
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mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Three out of four stars</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >I didn’t know quite what to expect when I walked into the theater to watch Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest endeavor <i style="">Bruno</i>. The film starts out innocently enough: the audience gets a quick setup of trendy Austrian fashion reporter <i style="">Bruno</i> (he repeatedly claims he is 19 years old, but is played by 37 year old Cohen) as well as a sodomy-filled montage with his boyfriend Diesel (Clifford Bañagale), which wisely yet disturbingly sets the tone for the film’s wildly preposterous characters and equally ridiculous segments. As one of the elite names of the Austrian fashion scene, we get to see just a taste of his fame until scandal erupts and he loses everything he values – money, Diesel, and most importantly, fame.
<br />
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >With this temporary setback, Bruno embarks on a quest to become big in Hollywood with his faithful and somewhat smitten assistant’s assistant Lutz (Gustaf Hammarsten). We see many attempts of Bruno being earnestly resourceful and creative but committing one faux pas after another. From acting to talk show hosting to adopting a modern accessory, his lack of scale and comprehension constantly get him into trouble when he interviews real people, and his leaps of logic repeatedly get him into situations that would be dangerous only for a person like Bruno.
<br />
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Remarkably, for all of Bruno’s personal failings, there is no shortage of Hollywood cameos. With the amount of pain and effort Bruno puts into his ill-conceived plans, it would be heartbreaking to see him not encounter these names. Though things never go according to plan, the cameos bring about an air of legitimacy to his quest and help endear Bruno to the audience.
<br />
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >The film is 82 minutes long, but there are definitely no boring spots. There are a few segments that are downright painful to watch, but much of the film’s humor derives from Bruno’s fake antics and his victims’ very-real reactions, in classic <i style="">Borat</i>-style, for a dynamic one-two punch. Sacha Baron Cohen does an admirable job of adlibbing in order to elicit certain responses from those on screen, and something must be said of just how gutsy a performer he is. Cohen as Bruno is met with hostility and Cohen gives you something of a dual surprise: how at times he manages to stand his ground for the sake of the joke and, in other times, just how quickly he can run for dear life. Apparently, Cohen employs a relentless philosophy in which it is better for the film to keep the audience’s attention at all times, no matter the cost. No one watching this film will catch their breath.
<br />
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Cohen’s previous film <i style="">Borat</i> was about exposing America’s latent xenophobia and anti-immigration attitudes, and Bruno seeks to question America’s homophobia in the same style. Had the story in Bruno been stronger, I would have considered it a detriment as it follows roughly the same formula as <i style="">Borat</i>, right down to the conflict with the loyal sidekick. However, since there is not much of a story and the true charm of the film comes from the segments themselves, I am willing to let the similarities slide. Rather, while <i style="">Bruno</i> admirably seeks to push the envelope in order to further explore the homophobic attitudes and/or self-absorbed naiveté of America’s citizens, some segments accomplish this goal while others seem to do nothing else but to provoke whatever victim had the misfortune of running into Cohen. Bruno’s agent, for example, doesn’t come across as malicious or anti-Gay, but just as an object for Cohen to antagonize. Compare that interaction with the gay conversion preachers, who would be the ideal target for the subject matter, and the film comes across as uneven in that regard.
<br />
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Despite the lack of consistency, the jokes and gags flow from within the context of the segments because the punch lines come from the victims themselves, with Cohen only providing the push. The old adage of “You can’t make this stuff up” certainly rings true, and these displays of honesty cut through plenty of false sincerity that only actors could give. While seeking the truth is always a hazard in some way, <i style="">Bruno</i> just barely gets away by the skin of his teeth. If there’s one thing everybody loves in a film, it’s a harrowing escape.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:10;" ><o:p></o:p></span> RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-13700472572137131672009-08-12T22:47:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:48:49.102-07:00One Cent Per Fired Synapse<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.fincher.org/CoinStacking/images/2005-11-14-PennyBridgeFinished4One2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 446px; height: 297px;" src="http://www.fincher.org/CoinStacking/images/2005-11-14-PennyBridgeFinished4One2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >(or rather, a penny for your thoughts) <span style="font-weight: bold;">
<br />
<br />From the Archive of Knowledge:</span>
<br />-A penny costs 1.4 cents to mint
<br />-The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world
<br />-Glenn Beck and Bill Maher both identify as Libertarians
<br />
<br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >How much thought is given these days?</span> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> 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mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">“This is a wonderful capital to cover things in because there’s an awful lot of information available despite the growth of secrecy and so on. For example, when I had the <i style="">Weekly </i>and there would be an explosion in a country I didn’t know a damn thing about, and I had to go to press in two days. I had to write an article for a weekly – that’s a little more reflective than a daily story. You can have room to move and a little extra time to give it depth. So what do you do? If it’s a country that depends on, say, copper, you go to the Bureau of Mines in the Interior Department and you get the latest report on copper. And the report on the copper industry will give you a sense of the basic social-economic factors that are working in that country, and you’ll understand it better. If it’s soybeans, you go to the agriculture department and get the latest few crop reports. I got a good hell of a news story before the Korean War when I discovered that the Kuomintang in China were buying soybean futures as if they knew something was coming, and then there was a Senate investigation, and they did know something.” </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">--I.F. Stone, discussing the merits of true investigative journalism</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">And I post it because I came across that paragraph right before Laura Ling and Euna Lee were released from North Korea, after they were captured doing what any good journalist is supposed to do.
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mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">More driving tips:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-When driving on the left lane, don’t dive through the middle lane to the right lane in order to get to your exit. Not only is that extraordinarily dangerous, but it considerably slows down traffic as well. If you must go across an entire highway, move one lane at a time, keeping careful watch of your speed. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-Seat belts, Seat belts, Seat belts.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-Look in the rear view mirror once in a while. It won’t kill you, and it might actually save you and people around you some aggravation.</span></p><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >
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<br />RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-59436630435083055932009-08-12T21:41:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:49:31.866-07:00Awful Terrible & Troublesome (AT&T)After a prolonged absence, I'm back, baby.<br /><br /> AT&T kept yanking our chains about our internet connection and pulled off one unprofessional move after another. Blogging without it was impossible (I refuse to blog at work, and going online at the library or other wifi spot makes me feel as if I need to do more important things, which I did), but fear not, I still wrote despite the downtime. I'll post up what I have over the next few days.<br /><br />In the meantime, however, I'm going to post a letter that I'm sending to the Better Business Bureau, the Federal Communications Commission, the Fixer at the Sun-Times, and perhaps some people at AT&T (Ahem, Mister Stephenson? Yes, I found your email address). Yes, this is venting session, but after a week of bad service, it's very much warranted.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.theiphoneblog.com/images/stories/2008/05/att_mouth_of_sauron.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 450px; height: 253px;" src="http://www.theiphoneblog.com/images/stories/2008/05/att_mouth_of_sauron.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>****<br /><br />Hello, I had fine service with other companies (Comcast, RCN) before we changed to AT&T two years ago for cost and service availability issues. We requested to modify our AT&T services, but instead we were been without promised internet services for seven days straight. Having no service is fine, but customer service had repeatedly issued false promises and shady practices.<br /><br />This is my experience with Comcast and RCN compared to AT&T's customer service:<br />-Unlike AT&T, most connection problems were solved remotely<br />-Unlike AT&T, service would be restored within customer service's promised time (which usually took 5 minutes)<br />-Unlike AT&T, should a technician come by, he/she would always stay until service resumed<br />-Unlike AT&T, no problem lasted beyond a day (we are now on day 4, going into day 5)<br />-Unlike AT&T, customer service email addresses were readily available online<br />-Unlike AT&T, customer service extended beyond the regular business day, for at least six days a week.<br />-Unlike AT&T, both Comcast and RCN only had to send one technician to handle problems both inside and outside the house<br /><br />Additionally, AT&T's screen announcing that there is a problem with our connection says that there are technical service agents available to speak on the phone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The technician, at around 3pm on August 6, said service would be restored by 8pm. Obviously that didn't happen, and when we called the number given to us, the recorded voice said the tech assistance offices were closed for the night. This was the very same number the screen told us to call, the screen that said agents would be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even the text designed to reassure customers is a blatant lie. One customer service rep assured my sister that the problem was with their central office, not our local service. Another customer service rep told my sister the opposite. Which is it?<br /><br />Lastly, even looking for contact email for AT&T customer service reps is much more complicated than it needs to be. Posting it only seems to escape company grasp. AT&T is supposedly a communications company, but there are no agents available by phone (again, the supposed 24 hours, 7 days promise) and email addresses are hidden.<br /><br />On Monday, August 10, the second technician came by (if you'll recall, after the first technician on Friday assured us that we would have service again). This second technician this time spent a half hour to talk to us and look over the problem. He deduced that representative over the phone had issued us a fake phone number that did not exist anywhere, which is why we were having a problem for so long. Nowhere was this noted in any system, no one was notified, and worse yet, even the technician seemed baffled as to this representative's actions. Sadly, we have little way in tracking down who this representative was and why he/she messed our account so badly.<br /><br />AT&T is sorely inefficient and frankly, this kind of "customer service" is unacceptable. I will also ask for a refund or discount to compensate for the time without service, since clearly we are not using them. Additionally, being without service would be fine had AT&T's customer service dept. and technicians not falsely raising our hopes and repeatedly give us empty promises and deadlines. At the very least, honesty is needed. At the very worst, a complete overhaul in service protocol from top to bottom will be required.<br /><br />Sincerely Irate,<br /><br />RyanRVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-73175144609688722682009-07-30T19:52:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:50:11.506-07:00Golden Rule? What Golden Rule?(Warning: This isn't meant to be an overly religious post. I'm not debating the merits of religion, but rather the extent that people will go to use religion for their own means. I'm far from a theologian and I consider myself more of a person of faith than a person of religion.)<br /><br />A few weeks ago, I got into a "debate" with an unnamed relative over the merits of her online comments. She posted something along the lines of Obama being an evil man for celebrating June as LGBT Pride Month. And I quote:<br /><span class="UIIntentionalStory_Names"></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br />"U.S. President Barack Obama declared JUNE 2009 "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month for the United States... The people of America (and the same goes for any other nation) will surely rue the day they "call evil good, and good evil" Isaiah 5:20 (Source: White House presidential proclamation, June 1, 2009"</span></span><br /><br />Yep, that's what my relative posted. The same relative who just a few months earlier vowed to protect any family member should he/she ever come out of the closet. Naturally, this relative and I came to a somewhat civilized but still disconcerting back-and-forth exchange, both citing different examples of the Bible as well as modern topics as debate ammunition. It came down to me citing Leviticus as condoning slavery, since Leviticus is the same book that "forbids" homosexuality. I thought I had my ace in a hole.<br /><br />Then the second of three horrifying things happened: This relative said slavery was justified since the oppressed wouldn't believe in God. Nevermind that Jews were slaves (what happened to sharing the same text?), just the sheer thought of slavery being justified seemed to be wholly against any form of truly good-hearted organized religion. Suddenly any positive lessons were subject to be perverted in order to pass a belief.<br /><br />The third of three horrifying things eventually came: soon after our debate, another unnamed relative chimed in and added the following:<br /><br />"what a shame and America wonders about all these bad things hapenning :("<br /><br />Suddenly all of America's problems weren't the compounding fault of decades of politicians, a weakening financial system, stretched resources and crumbling educational and social reform systems. No, it was all because of those LGBT folks. Just their mere existance was forcing America down this horrible path that will eventually take down the country.<br /><br />Going back to point #2, Jews and others were slaves and somehow that was okay. But the second relative's point was extremely damning and very reminiscient. I bit my virtual tongue (and lips) and resisted the urge to counter that post for fear of erupting a familial civil war. Now I regret that I did. Apparently, it never occurred to this second relative that Nazi Germany used that exact kind of logic to start the Holocaust (missed joke: "'Scuze me while I sneeze... ah AH AHH AUSCHWITZ!" I'm a genius), or that Pol Pot used it to "cleanse" Cambodia with the Khmer Rouge. No sense of perspective or history. Why, everytime any leader blamed one minority for the faults of the entire country, the entire country went down in flames from the leader's own actions. Often the minority is blamed in the name of God, and I can believe that He is tired of it.<br /><br />During the debate with the first relative, I brought up the point that there were many, many LGBTers who serve humanity honorably and with distinction. Firefighters, soldiers, teachers, medical professionals, politicians, and yes, even clergy. Naturally the relative disagreed with me. Today, I talked with an acquaintance of mine, who is a Reverend but who also happens to be gay and has a long-term partner.<br /><br />The Reverend greeted me with such bouncy enthusiasm. I asked him what's right and he replied that a series of happy coincidences seemed to make his congregation happier and more gung-ho about participating with the Church. He mentioned that three members volunteered to talk about what their personal definitions of grace and faith were. And while he was explaining what was said at his service with big bright eyes and a sense that everything was going his way, I just stood there and thought to myself, "This can't possibly be a bad thing, can it? How can something so uplifting and positive and hopeful ever be called evil? How can tolerance, equality, and goodwill damn this nation?"<br /><br />To that, I've no answer. People are free to believe what they want, if they don't twist original intentions or take texts too literally without consideration of elasticity.<br /><br />I'll always remember the lessons of my 7th grade Catholic School teacher, Miss Szczepanik. Though strict and short-tempered, she did help forge my current hopes and dreams for myself. Part of that included one crucial lesson: when reading the Bible, remember to put things into context and to use critical analysis to see how it could help your life. This coming from a former nun, who one would think would be a near-fundamentalist with the Bible. I don't read the Bible anymore, as now I'm thinking that many who do aren't much different than my relatives who will bend it to their will. But one thing is very much needed: the ability to put things into perspective so that you can think for yourself. And that is a God-given ability.RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-32201577014149688482009-07-28T13:42:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:51:17.078-07:00A Time To Think<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.math.hmc.edu/%7Etucker/math104/graphics/thinking-cap.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 281px; height: 323px;" src="http://www.math.hmc.edu/%7Etucker/math104/graphics/thinking-cap.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />As I sit here at the computer, my brain is trying to figure out which keys my fingers should press. Normally that's a good thing, as typing something out is better than nothing. And yet, as I reflect back at my blog, it's rather haphazard, as if each article was an excuse to type.<br /><br />Really, that's a good thing. An unfocused mind gains focus through activity, after all. If a blog reflects a person's thought patterns, interests, and personality, then let it be known that this blog shows a somewhat varied array of curiosities. I feel like sharing them with the world. If the world won't have them, then at least my thoughts are there for someone to take.<br /><br />Speaking of unfocused, did you know that Ancient Greek has four words for the word "freedom?" According to IF Stone, the time of old philosophers in Athens was the true height of the First Amendment.<br /><br />I use this time as a means of procrastinating on a personal project that I've been hammering at for weeks now. Since January, I've made leaps and bounds both professionally and personally. These six months included the completion of a leadership training course, occasional performances (at the most biweekly, but at the least monthly), networking like never before, and an academic paper. These accomplishments may pale compared to someone more organized than I, but it also means something crucial for my ego: if that company saw fit to give my old self a try, then companies that would be a better match are now worth going after.<br /><br />So when I say it's a time to think, it's a reflection of what I was and where I am in the here and now. More importantly, it's a time to think of where I'll be soon. Not to sound cliche, but you never know what's in store in the day ahead of you, and whatever happens, you owe it to yourself to make the most of it. Lately I've come to realize how lucky I am to know some very intelligent people, as well as meeting new and bright faces across all backgrounds. They set examples for me to reach as well as the opportunity to expand my mind. Ultimately, what is the mind good for? Why, to think, of course.<br /><br />Ah-thank you.RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-10576157291418726282009-07-24T16:07:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:52:09.860-07:00It's A Televised World<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.highcountryconservation.org/photos/television_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 325px;" src="http://www.highcountryconservation.org/photos/television_1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />From the Archive of Knowledge</span><br />-There are more TVs than Americans in the United States.<br />-One in every four people in the United States has been on TV.<br />-Shakespeare's family was illiterate, but no TVs were involved.<br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Further Road Thoughts</span><br />-People need at least one, but preferably two, hands to steer. Knees or elbows will not suffice.<br />-Ever notice that Lexus makes great cars but are owned by people who can't drive? Maybe that's just me.<br />-If there are ever clogged exit lanes on the highway, please do NOT try to cut people off deep into the lane. Not only is it very rude to all those who waited, but more often than not, you end up blocking traffic anyway. You become a very unsafe and very dickish road hazard.<br />-A few light, sporadic drops of water on your windshield will not mean you will skid out of control. Don't slow down by twenty miles out of panic!<br />-People need to use their turn signals. It's quite literally a flick of the wrist!<br />-If you're in the left or middle lanes and you see everyone swerving around you, maybe you're the road hazard.<br />-I still hate minivans.<br />-For the love of God, either use a headset/bluetooth or hang the phone up.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Thought<br /></span>When someone says, "You can't talk like that to me, I'm a full-grown adult," then perhaps they're not. Especially if they're watching TV while driving.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-25097004830160176562009-07-22T18:38:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:52:32.801-07:00An Ode to Rice<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.chinesefooddiy.com/images/Fried-Rice2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 411px; height: 274px;" src="http://www.chinesefooddiy.com/images/Fried-Rice2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />(Freewrite)<br /><br />Oh rice, how I love thee<br />Let me count the ways<br />By the bowlful, not the grain<br />That would take too long<br />Though one grain is good<br />Dozens or hundred (or thousands)<br />Of grains clumped together<br />In a nice steaming batch<br />Work much better for the buds<br /><br />Pilaf, fried, spicy, sweet<br />Peas, Curry, Chicken, Beef,<br />White, Brown, Red Beans<br />Saffron, Sushi, Krispie, Condi,<br />Chinese, Greek, Cajun, Thai<br />Mexican, African, Puerto Rican<br />Jamaican me crazy<br /><br />In clumps, stews, or pudding<br />You make everyone better<br />Meals more fit, tummies complete<br />In all its simplicity<br />All it takes is access<br />So tiny, so minute, so crucial<br />The world would be a better place<br />If we all had a bowl of rice.RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-15284144281667173372009-07-17T18:25:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:53:51.268-07:00Rocket Man<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00578/buzz_385x185_578986a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 385px; height: 185px;" src="http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00578/buzz_385x185_578986a.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span>In honor of the 40th Anniversary of the first Lunar Landing on July 20, I present to you the Apollo 11 Edition:</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Da Eagle Has Liz-zanded<br /></span>The Times: To commemorate the anniversary, Buzz Aldrin has teamed with Quincy Jones, Snoop Dogg, Talib Kweli, and Soulja Boy to create a rap single and video.<br /><br />Don't worry, all proceeds are going to Aldrin's non-profit foundation ShareSpace.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Coincidence?<br /></span>The CIA, eight years to the day after Apollo 11 landed on the Moon, revealed documents showing that the Agency had conducted mind-control experiments.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Solitudious<br /></span>In the Apollo 11 Command Module, Michael Collins lost radio contact with Earth 30 times with a length of 48 minutes each for a total length of 1,440 minutes of isolation.<br /><br />Something to keep in mind the next time you feel slightly claustrophobic on the CTA.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Trickle-On Economics Update</span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Space Edition</span><br />According to current inflation rates, the Apollo 11 mission cost $578,000,000, give or take a couple tens-of-thousands.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">One Giant Leap for Mankind<br /></span>Notable events to happen after the landing but on July 20:<br />-The Viking 1 Lander reaches the surface of Mars<br />-Hank Aaron hits his 755th and final home run<br />-<span style="font-size:100%;">Gisele Bündchen is born<br /></span>-Canada becomes the fourth nation in the world to legalize same-sex marriage<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-59716391033682491922009-07-16T21:12:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:54:50.274-07:00Driving Pet Peeves<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.coolslice.com/uploaded_images/car_park_accident_large-767450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 464px; height: 316px;" src="http://www.coolslice.com/uploaded_images/car_park_accident_large-767450.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I've been meaning to write this for a while now, ever since my dear Sofia (aka 2006 Nissan Sentra) was the victim of a hit and run. Of course, such a violation is much more than a pet peeve, but today, I saw a rather sweet Lexus SUV swerving in and out of lanes very erratically with its gas tank cap hang and dragging in the wind, only to see the driver with one hand on the wheel and another hand around his girl.<br /><br />For now, I'm only focused on highway drivers, since the vast majority of my driving time is such. City driving I'll leave for others or for another day with more observations.<br /><br />Let's get started. I don't like:<br />-People (not "drivers") who insist on driving 20 miles below the speed limit<br />-People who don't know the difference between the fast and slow lanes (yes, there are two guilty parties here)<br />-People who can't maintain their speed but maintain their cell phone conversations (head sets are okay)<br />-People who break for emergency vehicles in the opposite flow of traffic but are separated by a 6 inch wide cement barrier<br />-People who insist on driving 20 miles below the speed limit, but then increase by 40 miles when they see you trying to overtake them<br />-People who assume that a highway patrol car already tending to another speeder/driver-in-need/accident will immediately stop what they're doing and go after them for driving 5 over the limit<br />-People in the left or middle lanes who don't realize that cars (and even giant semi trucks) are outpacing them<br />-People on motorcycles (especially in squadrons) zipping between cars at 125 mph<br />-People who overtake you but then slow down, thereby defeating the purpose of switching to a faster lane in the first place<br />-Minivans.RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-90198427033796126652009-07-15T18:44:00.000-07:002009-08-23T12:58:08.777-07:00Let's Hear it for Citizen JournalismBecause it allows me to continue the practice of/homage to QT:<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQagHuM2LFi39XBD54Y741RG45vKYrOnUlGITKaUQ79rEqjY1oNJmI8joFp9JlQU915x85jkfhYWoGlpNwEvzHG_DeGBFizmb6GVr5ojKgEO_wVJwi_tFEYDAuXNiRuFWZOaEUuzQF/s1600-h/Bizarro20090715.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 168px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQagHuM2LFi39XBD54Y741RG45vKYrOnUlGITKaUQ79rEqjY1oNJmI8joFp9JlQU915x85jkfhYWoGlpNwEvzHG_DeGBFizmb6GVr5ojKgEO_wVJwi_tFEYDAuXNiRuFWZOaEUuzQF/s200/Bizarro20090715.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359105105334004434" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">We Have Seen the Present, And It Does Not Work</span><br />Alex Astilean has created a human powered treadmill on wheels called the Speedfit. Very convenient when you don't want your feet to touch the ground yet have the audacity to jog outside.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Trickle-On Economics Update</span><br />Several people have been charged (approx.) $23,148,855,308,184,500 on their Visa BUXX prepaid credit cards.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Modern Education + The Criminal Mind = </span><br />A Portage man was sentenced to three years in prison for stealing over $2,000 from his Dunken Donuts workplace after his boss denied him a loan in an attempt to stop himself from doing something "stupid."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What Recession?<br /></span>News item: "A $43 million estate in Aspen, Colo. is the largest single-family residence to be sold in the United States so far this year...The 25,000-square-foot mansion has 11 bedrooms (including the guest house), 15 bathrooms, a gym, four powder rooms, a wine cellar, and a pool."<br />The buyer was not named, but what are the odds that he bought it with a Visa BUXX card?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bonus:</span><br />A little bit of an explanation: Dave Chappelle made a "secret" appearance last night, expecting to perform for about two hundred people. However, due to Twitter, Facebook, and trusty word-of-mouth, Chappelle attracted in his estimate four-to-five thousand people. He did not bring the necessary equipment to handle that many fans (nor did he bring security or an entourage), so the surprise show fizzled. Still, it was something of a treat for fans, and I have to extend some kudos to Chappelle for thoughtfully and sincerely keeping the crowd largely under control.<br /><br /><table style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px;"><tbody><tr><td><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Verdana;font-size:13;" >Dave Chappelle at Pioneer Square</span></td></tr><tr><td><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" id="movie1247711100145" align="middle" height="404" width="470"><br /><br /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://tribeca.vidavee.com/advance/vidavee/playerv3/vFlasher_debug.swf?p19=movie1247711100145&p2=off&p3=off&p4=50&p5=off&p7=on&p8=off&p31=on&p22=http%3A%2F%2Fanalytics.tribeca.vidavee.com%2Fvanalytics%2Fgateway%2F&p13=no&p16=v3AdvInt_oregonLive.swf&p17=http%3A%2F%2Ftribeca.vidavee.com%2Fadvance%2Fvidavee%2Fplayerv3%2Fskins%2F&p11=0&p15=http%3A%2F%2Ftribeca.vidavee.com%2Fadvance%2FvClientXML.view%3FAF_renderParam_contentType%3Dtext%2Fxml%26showEndCard%3Doff%26link%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fvideos.oregonlive.com%2Foregonlive%2F2009%2F07%2Fdave_chappelle_in_pioneer_squa.html%26vtagView%3Don%26skin%3Dv3AdvInt_oregonLive.swf%26autoplay%3Doff%26loadStream%3Doff%26width%3D470%26height%3D351%26vtag%3Dyes%26startVolume%3D50%26hidecontrolbar%3Dno%26textureStrip%3Dyes%26displayTime%3Dyes%26volumeLock%3Doff%26watermark%3Dyes%26dockey%3D60D6AB29BD65ACF851DD34CCE306BD35&p21=http%3A%2F%2Ftribeca.vidavee.com%2Fadvance%2Fvidavee%2Fplayerv3%2Fjs%2FFlashProxyLoader.js&p18=timeDisplay%3Dyes%3Bwatermark%3Dyes%3BshareWidgets%3Don%3BtextureStripe%3Dyes%3BvtagDisplay%3Dyes%3BshowEndCard%3Doff%3Blink%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fvideos.oregonlive.com%2Foregonlive%2F2009%2F07%2Fdave_chappelle_in_pioneer_squa.html"><param name="quality" value="high"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff"><br /><br /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><br /><br /><embed wmode="transparent" allowscriptaccess="always" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" quality="high" name="movie1247711100145" src="http://tribeca.vidavee.com/advance/vidavee/playerv3/vFlasher_debug.swf?p19=movie1247711100145&p2=off&p3=off&p4=50&p5=off&p7=on&p8=off&p31=on&p22=http%3A%2F%2Fanalytics.tribeca.vidavee.com%2Fvanalytics%2Fgateway%2F&p13=no&p16=v3AdvInt_oregonLive.swf&p17=http%3A%2F%2Ftribeca.vidavee.com%2Fadvance%2Fvidavee%2Fplayerv3%2Fskins%2F&p11=0&p15=http%3A%2F%2Ftribeca.vidavee.com%2Fadvance%2FvClientXML.view%3FAF_renderParam_contentType%3Dtext%2Fxml%26showEndCard%3Doff%26link%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fvideos.oregonlive.com%2Foregonlive%2F2009%2F07%2Fdave_chappelle_in_pioneer_squa.html%26vtagView%3Don%26skin%3Dv3AdvInt_oregonLive.swf%26autoplay%3Doff%26loadStream%3Doff%26width%3D470%26height%3D351%26vtag%3Dyes%26startVolume%3D50%26hidecontrolbar%3Dno%26textureStrip%3Dyes%26displayTime%3Dyes%26volumeLock%3Doff%26watermark%3Dyes%26dockey%3D60D6AB29BD65ACF851DD34CCE306BD35&p21=http%3A%2F%2Ftribeca.vidavee.com%2Fadvance%2Fvidavee%2Fplayerv3%2Fjs%2FFlashProxyLoader.js&p18=timeDisplay%3Dyes%3Bwatermark%3Dyes%3BshareWidgets%3Don%3BtextureStripe%3Dyes%3BvtagDisplay%3Dyes%3BshowEndCard%3Doff%3Blink%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fvideos.oregonlive.com%2Foregonlive%2F2009%2F07%2Fdave_chappelle_in_pioneer_squa.html" allowfullscreen="true" height="404" width="470"></embed><br /><br /></object></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-90901839912924897102009-07-14T00:07:00.000-07:002009-08-23T13:00:40.939-07:00Zzzz...(second draft of a freewrite rewrite)<br /><br />As I spend waking moments<br />struggling not to be unwoke,<br />Whatever neurons I have left<br />try to fire as best they can<br />Synapses shoot electrical bursts<br />with increasing dullness<br />But I lay my head back, listening to music<br />Of summer and butterflies and rest<br />All I can feel now is just exhaustion, but a smile<br />Choices to be put off later<br />Sleep to be had<br />Now I lay me down to bed<br />And always will I be led<br />To sweet slumber oft said<br />Never mix wine with med(s).RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-70309588280264807502009-07-12T09:41:00.000-07:002009-08-23T13:01:21.112-07:00Because I owe it...<div align="center"><a href="http://llnw.image.cbslocal.com/1/2007/02/25/320x240/topher%20grace.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 320px; height: 240px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://llnw.image.cbslocal.com/1/2007/02/25/320x240/topher%20grace.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:78%;" >Does Topher Grace provide free and open elections?</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">... to myself and to others to at least write online with some amount of regularity, like a literary e-bran muffin. I write to strive to think to complete. Not necessarily in that order, however.<br /><br />For a while now, I've been thinking about continuing a version of the former Quick Takes column by Zay N. Smith in the Chicago Sun-Times (and yes, he's printed some of my suggestions before. Woo!). The column was a funny take on current events, spliced bits of helpful and/or random trivia. The humor was spot on, the brief news bulletins were full of perspective, and the tidbits were very much engaging. But most of all, in my ADD-riddled mind, the delivery was often key to its charm and wit.<br /><br />If I continue in Smith's style, that means I would have to practice quite a bit with each and every category that Smith used. While I'm poor at starting good habits, I'm open to the idea of taking it slow with perhaps just one category at a time. I wish there was a QT archive on the Sun-Times' website for the sake of reference. Additionally, I can't use the QT name, since it's been (I guess) retired and I really should forge my own identity anyway.<br /><br />For the sake of practice...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">From the Archive of Knowledge:</span><br />-KFC is the most requested final meal of death-row inmates<br />-A lone, common house cat rendered the entire Stephen Island Wren species extinct<br />-Actor Topher Grace is exactly one year older than the island nation of Kiribati<br />-Hijinks is the only word in the English language with three consecutive dotted letters<br /><br />Also, a special congratulations to Savanady and Matt on their wonderful marriage. Though I've signed the guestbook, danced with the bride, shook the groom's hand, and bought a gift, is it still possible to give my blessings to the happy couple through an electronic format? If not, I will be more than happy to do so in person after the honeymoon. There's no such thing as having too many well wishes, after all. </div></div>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-37396355412343178562009-05-27T10:25:00.000-07:002009-05-27T12:05:37.941-07:00The Apple That Bites Back, Part 2<meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> 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<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Oh, arch nemesis, thy name be procrastination. The memories must remain fresh in my head to continue typing what joys I experienced two Saturdays ago. A faithful reader mentioned that I ended the last entry on something of a cliffhanger, that the action kept building and building and then poof, end of entry. Well, to rectify that, I present to you the second day’s entry:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>At around 11:30am, I woke up to ask myself what had happened the night before. My mind raced while I stayed in bed for about fifteen minutes. Thea emerged from her room, surprisingly well composed and not groggy considering she was here- there-and- everywhere last night and did a bit more jumping than I did. She took a seat on the bed and we tried to debrief about the evening, but to no avail. Sure, we could mention bits and pieces of what I mentioned in the last entry, but that’s it. The pace was much too rapid, the alcohol a little too free-flowing, and the memories a tad sparse. But that’s how any Friday night should go, right?</p>
<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://z.about.com/d/gourmetfood/1/0/D/A/champagne.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 167px; height: 252px;" src="http://z.about.com/d/gourmetfood/1/0/D/A/champagne.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" >Yeah, about last night...
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<br /></span></span></span></span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">As good as our collective minds are, however, we knew we couldn’t spent the whole day backtracking. After getting ourselves spiffy clean and dressed as smart as could be, we set out for a nice semi-brunch (not quite breakfast, not quite lunch, and only on the periphery of brunch) at a good ol’ fashioned Irish pub for old times’ sake. Thea had the crab cakes and I had the bangers and mash (NYC Food Count: 4), and though that meal was several days ago, I still regret it. Don’t get me wrong, the food was good, but the sheer weight of it was… well, oof. A Chicagoan in New York indeed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span> We needed a walk to use up as much bangers and mash in the tummy as possible, and we made the decision to go to the Museum of Natural History, the setting for Ben Stiller’s classic 2006 hit <i style="">Cameos in Period Costumes</i> aka <i style="">Night at the Museum.* <span style=""> </span></i><span style=""> </span>The sun was shining, traffic was steady, people were active, and everyone enjoyed a relatively normal Saturday afternoon in Manhattan. And then…</p><span style="font-size:85%;"><a style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/local_news/nyc/090516_Car_Jumps_Curb_on_Madison_Avenue">http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/local_news/nyc/090516_Car_Jumps_Curb_on_Madison_Avenue</a></span>
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style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We were across the street waiting for a bus from the accident when it happened. We both saw the Mercedes speed through a Madison red light at 79<sup>th</sup> street, where it collided with two more cars at 80<sup>th</sup> before pulling a 180 and hitting another car and into the store. We joined other pedestrians in approaching the crash site. I called 911 (the operator asked for my number! Chicago, learn a lesson!) while Thea tried to gather as much visually as possible. Luckily, no one was too badly hurt, but a few pedestrians around us had to let loose. One woman ran behind us to a corner in order to cry, another woman ran after to console her. <span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">However, I’ll always remember the loud Jamaican lady who screamed out hysterically in an “I told you so” kind of lecture, pointing at everyone as if the accident was our fault, yet blaming the driver for not being careful enough. I was about to snap at the lady since she wasn’t helping any matters by being morally superior to everyone else, but that would do no good, either. The funny thing is, now news reports say that the driver lost control and that the accident was probably due to mechanical failure. I hope Jamaican lady reads that and feels salty like the ocean to the east.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Thea was still out of breath while my thoughts were scrambled all over. Since New York is never a boring town, we left as soon as the fire trucks arrived, as the bus arrived at just the right time. We hopped on board and tried to process all that. The bus drove through Central Park, but I feel like I missed some of the sights because we kept replaying the crash in our heads. From that point on, we were much more cautious about when we cross streets. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So, we made it to the museum, where we found a fulldome video show called, aptly enough, <i style="">Cosmic Collisions.</i> We (perhaps morbidly) joked that we saw cars collide, now let’s see planets collide. We bought our tickets a half hour early and spent time "interacting" with various beasts of old.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD2gOnFlQ1ApDInY7kvmDeQOvNG-JeYzfVk-sbGRegvbi1IuRzsJeiOaS6Z8P0Zj_wq3O5TVc5WBGVZBgR0pHGrF4Z7igJ7CItXykmXVSVJsD3Q8xMSPXjUnrFVbj3yji6q3e-Axji/s1600-h/Running+of+the+Theas.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 253px; height: 189px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD2gOnFlQ1ApDInY7kvmDeQOvNG-JeYzfVk-sbGRegvbi1IuRzsJeiOaS6Z8P0Zj_wq3O5TVc5WBGVZBgR0pHGrF4Z7igJ7CItXykmXVSVJsD3Q8xMSPXjUnrFVbj3yji6q3e-Axji/s320/Running+of+the+Theas.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340573048375300146" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Running of the Theas. Coincidentally, at the other side of the museum...</span>
<br />
<br /></span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/63/Benstillertrex.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 291px; height: 219px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/63/Benstillertrex.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" ></span></span>
<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> We made our way to the show, narrated by the great Robert Redford, and we had many, many audible gasps throughout. Being a space geek, I highly recommend it. <span style=""> </span>And the next time I’m in NYC, I’d love to spend more time at the museum.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media.nasm.si.edu/webimages/640/WEB10628-2006_640.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 234px; height: 187px;" src="http://media.nasm.si.edu/webimages/640/WEB10628-2006_640.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">We do things big.</span></span></span>
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Hiking up to some galleries not too far away, Thea and I did battle (re: ran around inside) a giant Bamboo Iron Dino Snake. All in a day’s work, I suppose. You could climb inside and the snake curls upward. The snake itself is made of some heavy duty metal, but it’s held up almost solely by bamboo. The floors inside (the “bottom” of the snake) are made of bamboo as well, though held together by plastic straps and feeling like they could give way at any moment. There was even a warning sign saying that only three people were allowed. Of course, six fully grown adults went in, but what did we care? We saw cars and planets crash.
<br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgT_ex5wSd2yw4hdJ5EesCroLOHMCCEMH2Ose8F8Es9ZFZFFxUr562LdtMPEojJoqT13hvDdYPtTLyQoSED68-xvoJZ2DL3C5SK-vbZGziHqf0SNqL7MNpkoRYUH0Iuw-J_vyOrl16/s1600-h/Bamboo+Iron+Dino+Snake.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 154px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgT_ex5wSd2yw4hdJ5EesCroLOHMCCEMH2Ose8F8Es9ZFZFFxUr562LdtMPEojJoqT13hvDdYPtTLyQoSED68-xvoJZ2DL3C5SK-vbZGziHqf0SNqL7MNpkoRYUH0Iuw-J_vyOrl16/s320/Bamboo+Iron+Dino+Snake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340573045605523922" border="0" /></a><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" ><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">I found a way out, but it's not going to be pretty!</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">
<br /></span></span></span></span></div>
<br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Off we went to a few more galleries before we stopped over at Union Square for some nice desserts. If we filled up on semi-brunch, we sort of sapped our energy from all the activity and excitement of the day. Thea bought a thick, creamy brownie and I had a large Red Velvet cupcake, one of my few weaknesses (NYC Food Count: 5. But since it was Red Velvet, we’ll up it to 6). On a side note, Red Velvet cake was invented at the Waldorf-Astoria, according to Steve Cohen. Oh, Waldorf, you’ll always be in my heart…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Also, a thing about Union Square… outside of concerts and Formerly Known As at Big Chicks, this was the largest concentration of hipsters, urbanites, and fashionistas I had ever seen. Tight jeans everywhere. Blazers and kaffiyehs in the midst of humidity. Huge sunglasses and chuck tailors all over. Ill fitting t-shirts and fedoras surrounded us. For such a humid and sticky day, everyone was surprisingly chill. There was no mob mentality, they were much too frigid for that.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04_01/jeansDM3003_468x417.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 342px; height: 304px;" src="http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04_01/jeansDM3003_468x417.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" >Pictured: Union Square's Ratio of Hipsters Per Squar</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" >e Inch</span>
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Seeing all these young people make connections, I suppose, prompted us to try and contact our old friend Joey. A few years older than us, he was part of the triumvirate we formed ten years ago at our mothers’ college reunion. We’ve seen each other sparsely since then, but the three of us hadn’t been together in that time. Living in NYC to earn his JD at Rutgers, the time was ideal for us to reunite. And, much to our surprise, his brother Jeremy was also in town, also graduating from Hoffstra with a BA degree in film. Ten years is a long time for us not to see each other as a group, and Thea and I became excited/agitated/frustrated/nervous/enthusiastic to see Joey again, but we had no idea what we would be truly up against until dinner. In comparison, suddenly the Bamboo Iron Dino Snake didn’t seem so bad…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style=""> </span>To be concluded….</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<br />RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-66267769739057092002009-05-21T21:19:00.001-07:002009-05-27T12:17:28.966-07:00The Apple That Bites Back, Part 1<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> 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mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">I should be ashamed of myself. It’s been a week since I left for New York City to see the Divine Butterfly herself Miss Thea Vanessa, leading to one of the most exciting weekends I’ve had, and only now am I blogging about it. I will procrastinate no more! If NYC taught me anything, it’s that you cannot let up. You simply cannot stand still or else… things happen. Or don’t happen. Or do happen but not in the way you would like. Or something to that effect. <span style=""> </span>Then again, if I had waited until 5/21/09, I would have been in the midst of Fleet Week.<span style=""> </span>No joke.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 296px; height: 175px;" src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2008/06/qiz11.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Code Name: Shore Leave</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Here is the first day’s entry:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">My flight was mostly uneventful. The stewardess emphasized that if passengers wanted seconds (or thirds) of complimentary soft drinks and snacks, they were more than welcome to do so. In order to test what sounded like a boast, I ordered not one but TWO cans of Sprite Zeroes. Kudos to living up to your word. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Of course, I did use the qualifier “almost.” The last half hour was dominated by a Filipino with a cowboy hat and neon blue shirt (who earlier had a rather nice back pack made of straw) who kept leading the passenger to his left into a discussion/debate about those two social no-no’s called religion AND politics. He had something to prove to no one who asked, and worse yet, he had a high-pitched voice. Yes, this voice was so annoying that it completely overrode any points he made on the virtues of organized religion and the Republican Party.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We landed in JFK, and I was a little lost and slightly flustered.<span style=""> </span>JetBlue’s Terminal 5 is a mix between upscale mall and Starfleet Headquarters, but with more neon lights. Everyone was in a rush. Oh, the Hare Krishna tried to get me, but I gave them a dose of my tried-and-true Heat Vision, which wasn’t personal but just a measure of self-defense. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Navigating the MTA subway system was daunting. It took awhile for me to realize that I’d have to use three trains to reach my destination. By comparison, Chicago’s L is color-coded and London’s Tube leaves room for error . <span style=""> </span>I hesitantly boarded the AirTrain from JFK to my next train. Lately quite a few friends and acquaintances have moved to NYC, and from time to time I wished I would run into someone I knew.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I forgot to wish that I would run into someone who would know me, so my wish technically came true; I recognized Animal House legend Tim Matheson (That Guy actor extraordinaire), traveling with who I assume to be his wife and son. I walked over, asked him if he really was who I thought he was out of curiosity, and he shook my hand and chatted me up for a bit. After the three of them reached their stop and disembarked, the thought that I forgot to ask him his autograph and perhaps came across as rude flashed for but a moment.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://blogs.e-rockford.com/movieman/files/2009/02/otter.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 219px; height: 165px;" src="http://blogs.e-rockford.com/movieman/files/2009/02/otter.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Pictured: Tragically misinterpreted wish</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Reaching the subway, punching through people to reach my trains became my next objective. I confess, aside from seeing Thea, I wasn’t too thrilled about going to NYC. I’ve gone every year from 1991 to 2003. My only real memories include the usual touristy spots, fun family times, feelings of vast insignificance coupled with little personal consequence, and layers upon layers of grime. Fighting past the crowds like salmon swimming upstream would be no problem for a Chicagoan, but I just happened to come on a day of 90%+ humidity, too.<span style=""> </span>I was back, and the city remembered our old dance.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I finally made it to Thea’s gallery<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:relyonvml/> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRyan%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" 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1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><s><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:11;" >, the Paul Thiebaud Gallery</span></s><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:11;" >.</span> It’s beautiful inside, with nice high ceilings and at the time Chinese contemporary art on the walls, being installed when I walked in. A thought crossed my mind: “How cosmo could I get? Travelling from out of town and my first stop is seeing an exhibition installation in a Manhattan art gallery?” Woo! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I went back to Thea’s apartment with her coworkers Min and Stella (drinkin’ buddy) and had some decent Mexican food (NYC Food Count: 1). We prepped and headed out to the Waldorf-Astoria for a magic show and reception in the Presidential Suites, all of which was a surprise birthday party for their boss. And I say this because frankly, how often can anyone claim such a thing? We were easily the youngest people there, and so there was quite a bit of intimidation.</p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3xa1KuCVUolVH2X17ImW2gKuvZFAzqQIMm0NQvRd26_0JX50yuCc24QSPeGfvgfpc1lJLLIQ5ND-bNuT8vRqYxIHtyGprNk0GhJ9ruKdW-QhCo_LmPhyOeNC_IzyjEIUgjVDOWkF/s1600-h/Little+Kids.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 249px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS3xa1KuCVUolVH2X17ImW2gKuvZFAzqQIMm0NQvRd26_0JX50yuCc24QSPeGfvgfpc1lJLLIQ5ND-bNuT8vRqYxIHtyGprNk0GhJ9ruKdW-QhCo_LmPhyOeNC_IzyjEIUgjVDOWkF/s320/Little+Kids.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338502048176830626" border="0" /></a><p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Adorable: Little Kids at the Grown-Ups’ Party</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The magician himself was very engaging and very much a pro. His craftsmanship, artistry, and showmanship was superb.His name is Steve Cohen, and I call him the Majewcian, but he preferred the slightly arrogant moniker of the Millionaires Magician. Who am I to argue? Only 40 people were invited into the party (and thus the show), and Thea and Co. (and me) were probably the only plebeians there, invited by the good will of the boss’s wife. So yes, I consider myself lucky, and I consider luck magic.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.brooksinternational.com/customized/uploads/Images/stevecohen.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 161px; height: 196px;" src="http://www.brooksinternational.com/customized/uploads/Images/stevecohen.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Luck, Parlor Tricked-Out</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I must say, I met quite a number of very pleasant people who were not at all what I expected (and I didn’t expect much, rarely being in a situation like this before. One was a Clinton staffer!). If I ever get to hobnob with elites, I know I can rely on my handy-dandy crowd-pleasing improve skills. Props to Mick, the bartender with beer AND vertical hops. On top of that, the desserts and hors d'ouerves were excellent, complete with champagne and three wines (NYC Food Count: 2)
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>After that, Stella, Thea, and I went to a Korean restaurant in gasp Koreatown and had lychee soju. I never had soju before, and thus I was surprised how quickly and fluidly my buzz came about (NYC Food Count: 3). Good conversation, new people, baseball, and futbol make for a great combination.
<br /></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf50NBJRXl6SPNtSz1KuZ0BUe1oR8a7Vp47iFigy3TqjhtRkmO79iZp0d9zBCbkjInEA5mzK7nosUVzQUoDT4cK8UhyphenhyphenJEtsM8UacO07uNPdJViWqCqGkqf04uSiP2w_EhORwaaokvQ/s1600-h/Running.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 164px; height: 219px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf50NBJRXl6SPNtSz1KuZ0BUe1oR8a7Vp47iFigy3TqjhtRkmO79iZp0d9zBCbkjInEA5mzK7nosUVzQUoDT4cK8UhyphenhyphenJEtsM8UacO07uNPdJViWqCqGkqf04uSiP2w_EhORwaaokvQ/s320/Running.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338502052980040610" border="0" /></a><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Pictured: Giving New York a run for its money (Get it? GET IT?!)</span></span>
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Thea and I didn’t get home until 2:30am or so. Of course, we asked what just happened, as we couldn’t process the events of the day. Exhaustion is good, but this was only round 1. I was determined to stand up to whatever NYC had to throw at me, but she started the match with great fury.</p> RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-60356620134048855472009-01-17T09:09:00.000-08:002009-01-17T09:33:49.056-08:00I've Been a Good American All Along (choo-choo)So Barack Obama is taking a train to the Inauguration, retracing the route that Abraham Lincoln took when he went on his way to the presidency and the history books. Some may call this a publicity stunt, but inaugurations should always capture headlines and draw attention, so this train ride is far more than appropriate.<br /><br />As a Chicagoan from the Land of Lincoln and Obama, may I just say this: I've ridden the trains for nine years now, and if anyone back then told me that I was doing the patriotic thing, I would have looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and a narrow eye. If you asked for change, I might have given you some (okay, maybe not). As crummy and as slow as the CTA's trains are, and as convoluted and inconvenient as the construction process has been (to say the least), it's good to know that someone high up is probably going to repopularize the value of a good ol-fashioned train ride. On top of that, now it's the American thing to do; riding the train (thereby keeping not only operators but also maintenance crews and other staffers employed) and being green are suddenly patriotic.<br /><br />To think, roughly eight years ago, patriotism meant shopping by orders of the President. My, how times have changed! Now if only patriotism cost less than $2.25 per ride...RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-82242047698010364042009-01-16T10:07:00.000-08:002009-01-16T11:13:28.232-08:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Crimes of a Generation, Paid by the Next<br /></span>Almost forty years ago, the US Armed Forces used Agent Orange to devastate the forests of Vietnam so that the opposition wouldn't have cover or sanctuary to maintain their guerilla style tactics. Normally, not only does that mean that soldiers would have no place to run, but a short a while later, that also meant that farmers and peasants had no means of income, as entire crops would be destroyed.<br /><br />However, and more menacingly so, the rate of birth defects rose significantly since the spread of dioxin-filled Agent Orange, and each generation inherits the defects from the past. And what are the odds that those born of birth defects did not come from families of soldiers, but from civilians instead? <span><span><span>Click the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/16/agent-orange-devastates-g_n_158538.html">jump</a> to see the video report<span style="font-weight: bold;">.</span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span><br />The policy of the US government is that the nation isn't responsible for these crimes, as they were cleared in 1975. However, in the face of science and the human condition, that defense doesn't hold up, and the US has agreed to lend aid to the devastated regions (and really, to do the crime is one thing, to deny it in the face of evidence is a shady thing to do all around).<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span>Even forgetting the politics that lead to the failed invasion of Vietnam, the fact remains that there are people whose sole crime was being born of a certain family line and caught in the crossfire between two powers that were never concerned with them. They need whatever help they can get, so I post this up:<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.vietnamfriendship.org/">http://www.vietnamfriendship.org/</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><h3 style="font-weight: normal; font-style: italic; font-family: webdings;">The mission of the Vietnam Friendship Village Project is to cultivate reconciliation and heal the wounds of the Vietnam War by uniting veterans and caring citizens through international cooperation in the building and support of the Village of Friendship, a living symbol of peace.</h3><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">No Man is An Island, but They Made Their Own</span><br />In honor of the great Ricardo Montalban of <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek, Fantasy Island,</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Spy Kids </span>fame, who recently passed away: arguably the smoothest car commercial ever made. We in the 21st Century have our commercials of BMWs, Mercedes, Infinitis, and Audis, with their orchestras and ground breaking special effects, but none reach the class, comfort, and luxury of this commercial right here, courtesy of the great Montalban:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vIL3fbGbU2o&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vIL3fbGbU2o&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I'm just surprised that no car company had tried to retain him. Perhaps Congress forbade Montalban from joining any car manufacturer as a spokesman for fear of monopolizing the auto industry.<br /><br />And here is a video in honor of Patrick McGoohan, who also recently passed away. He starred in <span style="font-style: italic;">The Prisoner</span>, one of the quintessential 1960s Brit shows, and downright just weird and freaky (which makes it so delicious in the first place), playing the clever but perhaps doomed Number 6, trapped on a mysteriously surreal island and was perhaps the precursor to <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost</span>:<br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/29JewlGsYxs&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/29JewlGsYxs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />How many times have we all wanted to say things like he does, speaking out for the cause of individuality, free-will, and non-conformity in the face of mindlessly and endlessly bureaucratic monoliths like the DMV, college registration, and credit card companies?<br /><br />Ultimately, what applies to McGoohan's iconic counterculture character of Number 6 can also apply to Ricardo Montalban: neither of them strictly conformed to a prevalent trend, but instead took one and made it their own, bringng memorable strength, style, and (dare I say) poise to new heights. They didn't make the pack, they lead it.RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-64026999316117571042009-01-10T11:15:00.000-08:002009-10-14T12:12:42.582-07:00Shirtless Obama Sets Dangerous Example For Future WASPy Presidents<a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/54903/thumbs/s-OBAMA-SHIRTLESS-large.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 260px; height: 190px;" src="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/54903/thumbs/s-OBAMA-SHIRTLESS-large.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">We’ve all seen the photos of Obama walking out of the gym with his shirt off. The President has a better physique than most community organizers half his age. He’s more physically active than most presidents before him and I get the feeling that manliest-of-presidents Teddy Roosevelt would love to spar with him. After viewing the photo above, the NRA should have no fear of Obama, as they would clearly see that Obama has two tickets to the gun show. </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="trebuchet ms"><span style=""> </span> Despite packing all that heat, and despite all the hope and change the nation has in Obama (and why is it that only the politically right refer to Obama as the “Messiah?”), it’s time for him to reign in his influence and pull back from the extravaganza. He’s already pushing well-established boundaries for the good of the nation. Obama is the hero for the small popular and the huge electoral majority of the nation, and he’s well aware that he leads by example; you just can’t be that eloquent and educated without knowing the impact you can have on people. As we all know, through great persuasion and with full knowledge of his audience, the great William Jefferson Clinton taught an entire generation that the definition of sex is highly subjective. Any man can have a chance with a much younger lady as long as he's smooth and quick with the words. Among other reasons, that's why he's called Slick Willy.<br /></p><div style="text-align: center; font-family: trebuchet ms;"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 255px; height: 190px;" src="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/749/slide_749_14098_large.jpg" alt="" border="0" /><span style="font-size:85%;">(Clinton jokes never get old.)</span><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">He'll Pump Them Up</span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">This time, Obama’s pushed things too far and too progressively. Sure, he’s shown that he has both political and physical muscle, but if history and statistics show anything, it’s that our elected leaders tend to be, and to put this lightly, saggy-old-wrinkly. And if they’re not booby-obese-pasty, then it’s usually booby-obese-pasty. God forbid, sometimes we occasionally have a mix of the two groups, which would then make them wrinkly-old-saggy-booby-obese-pasty, or SOWBOP for short. <span style=""> </span>Since Benjamin Franklin, SOWBOPs as a group have been a respected and time-honored American institution, and every political generation, from the First Continental Congress to the election of Howard Taft to the reelections of blubbery John Murtha and continuous-victim-of-gravity Mitch McConnell has had large numbers of such.<br /></p> <p face="trebuchet ms" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><b style="">A Body-ferred is a Body-nied<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> Now, if you’re thinking that perhaps this is a shallow, ageist look at the presidency, you would not be wrong. However, there is mostly no need to look at things from a physical perspective because presidents tend to be educated, well-intentioned, hard-working individuals of civic and civil service. SOWBOPs sometimes pull off incredible feats of political maneuvering and dealing or tackle issues of extreme complication to exercise their power. Basically, the more of a SOWBOP you are, the more effective at the job you are (for better or for worse), exercising the affluent demur and privilege that excessive lobbying, self-indulgence, and gorging can afford.<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Ultimately the evidence that SOWBOPs prove that in exchange for physical fitness (and a functional heart and/or sober mind), one is very competent and masterful in the area of politics. The social expectation is that if you’re not pretty, you’re smart, and vice-versa. It’s a tenet that’s not always followed, that once in a great while someone comes along who is both smart AND pretty, as is the case of porn legend/MENSA scholar Asia Carrera and Nobel Peace Prize winner-turned-1970s heartthrob Henry Kissinger.<br /></p><div style="text-align: left; font-family: trebuchet ms;"><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: left; cursor: pointer; width: 145px; height: 190px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/Asia_Carrera_iafd.jpg" alt="" border="0" /><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 190px;" src="http://www.conservapedia.com/images/a/a5/Kissinger_Henry.jpg" alt="" border="0" /><span style="font-size:85%;">Don't tell me that you wouldn't tap them.</span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">But no, Mister President-Elect, way to ruin it for future presidents, should they be in the molds of our Lyndon Johnsons or Ronald Reagans or Bill Clintons or Grover Clevelands, or again, our Teddy Roosevelts. Presidents who weren’t pleasing to the eye but were relatively good at their jobs (Opinions may differ, but you have to be somewhat good to win an election) exchanged looks for intelligence, and we the American people accepted that. If the next president, be it Democrat or Republican, ends up looking like this</span>:</div> <div style="text-align: center; font-family: trebuchet ms;"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 190px;" src="http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepony/CheneyBear.jpg" alt="" border="0" /><span style="font-size:85%;">(His secret bunker's not just for hiding.)</span><br /></div><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">…and decides to flaunt it because of his predecessor Obama, we have Obama to blame. If Obama’s policies work and improve the nation, making great strides to enhance the future of <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>, we expect future elected leaders to rightfully follow that example. If our leaders follow the wrong examples that Obama sets forth, we could end up damaging the nation, perhaps irrevocably so.</p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Rest Between Reps<br /><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span> Now, one of the legendary things about the presidency is that it accelerates the aging process. Two-term presidents look as if they’ve aged sixteen years rather than eight. I wish nothing but the best of luck to Obama, but if he turns from physically fit to SOWBOPs, it would be the most extraordinary change indeed, and all the more reason to enforce the classic decree set forth by our forefathers of the “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service” policy, a variation of the classic “No Head, No Rule” decision set forth by King Louis XVI.</p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.historywiz.com/images/frenchrevolution/louis.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 173px;" src="http://www.historywiz.com/images/frenchrevolution/louis.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><p style="text-align: center;font-family:trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;" >Look at that smug, bodiless bastard.</span><br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">In our forefathers’ wisdom, the reasoning is really quite threefold:<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">1). SOWBOPs would be discouraged from taking off their shirts, thus saving this nation another collective heart attack in a post-Obama world.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">2) There would be much more pressure on, well, everyone to focus on policy and government rather than petty gossip.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> 3) The bar wouldn’t be set so high for a combination of physical and mental abilities for future aspiring politicians who wish to attain and maintain SOWBOP status as the apex of their professional careers. After all, if you’re cut and in your physical prime, then you're automatically disqualified from such status.</p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Obama's made giant leaps to fulfill the wish that a public official not be judged by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character. For all the news about his Cabinet picks and his policy planning and his meetings, there's been much public focus on his body than his mind. The content of his character was news a year ago, but now the cut of his skin (and what a cut) threatens the pasty, thick status quo that was already lost last November.</span><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-73085613200616921302009-01-02T08:47:00.001-08:002009-01-02T09:15:20.192-08:00You Make My Heart Feel Super Happy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mag.awn.com/issue12.12/12.12images/Ni02_NiHaoLaiKan-Sitting.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://mag.awn.com/issue12.12/12.12images/Ni02_NiHaoLaiKan-Sitting.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />And a Happy New Year! I hope everyone's had some good times these past few days and that your resolutions have lasted at least till Day 2. Today itself brings a series of firsts here:<br /><br />-first post of 2009<br />-first non-poetry post<br />-first pop culture post<br />-first time I've encountered this show, specifically <span style="font-style: italic;">Ni Hao, Kai-Lin</span>:<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ni_Hao,_Kai-Lan">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ni_Hao,_Kai-Lan</a><br /><br /><br />First off, how wonderful it is to have a kids' show like this gem. In a world of entertainment that's all too condescending towards variety, having different people of different colors only to fit a quota and not making them into full-fledged characters, we have a cartoon about a Mandarin Chinese girl teaching the Nick Jr. audience elements of Chinese culture and how learning multiculturalism through friends benefits everyone.<br /><br />Best of all, unlike some other Asian-born properties (as opposed to Asian American), this show doesn't go out of its way to hit the cutesy factor, as all the character and background designs are very much intentionally connected to the cultural lessons, tying the visual with the educational.<br /><br />Now, I know you're asking, "Ryan, why are you reviewing a show aimed at toddlers and kindergarteners?" I have two answers for you: 1. Shut up and 2. I was channel surfing when the image of an animated yellow-skinned 6 year old girl popped up on the screen. Intrigued, I kept the channel on, half-expecting bad accents, stereotypical music and fortune-cookie mysticism. Imagine my surprise when Mandarin was littered here and there amongst the English dialogue, how colorful everything was, and how Kai-Lan herself embraced her origins. I remember back in grade school how I would downplay my own upbringings, how I would refuse to say anything in Tagalog because I felt it set me apart from a group I wanted to belong to (and much later would I realize that I shot myself in the foot once I forgot those words. Apparently being a polyglot is a very good skill both professionally and socially). I wouldn't call my titos "Tito" in front of my friends, but rather instead call them uncle, and I would very much downplay the fact that I was the only Asian in my grade school class (after the 6th grade, that is).<br /><br />If there was a show like <span style="font-style: italic;">Ni Hao, Kai-Lin</span> back in my youth, or even a Filipino-American version of this show, created and developed by Fil-Ams, I'm pretty sure I'd totally nose-dive into the experience. It wouldn't just be empowering to see someone like me at the age of 6 with his own TV show (though that's no mere feat), but there's also the comfort in knowing that there are tons of kids out there from all backgrounds who would watch and love the show, learning and embracing the show's multicultural lessons and shaping youth into little cultural explorers, like Dora but on a yellow-scale. Then again, back when I was six, the market for Asian-American entertainment was pretty darn hostile. That's all the more reason to have <span style="font-style: italic;">Ni Hao, Kai-Lin</span>.<br /><br />Come to think of it, for all my friends who are quickly becoming newlyweds and/or new parents, I would happily recommend this show. Now if they can put in a <span style="font-style: italic;">Yo Gabba Gabba</span>-esque soundtrack...<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7ke_9-6JzI">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7ke_9-6JzI</a>RVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281941328372253521.post-22845415368877346982008-12-31T11:29:00.001-08:002009-01-10T16:45:45.409-08:00The Ball Was In My...There was a time when<br />We used to play ball,<br />Many afternoons spent<br />Of you driving one out<br />And me hitting air<br />I blamed my bat<br />But I was okay<br />There was always tomorrow<br />We never ran out of balls.<br /><br />In the summer<br />Dodgeball came ‘round<br />You couldn’t hit me<br />I was swift like a bird<br />(Wait a minute)<br />You hit me a few<br />It hurt like hell<br />But everything was fine<br />And I was all right.<br /><br />Four o’clock, every day<br />The court was our place<br />I never ran so much<br />Yet you kept me at bay<br />Your control of the ball<br />Almost too fluidic<br />I had no chance<br />Still, I had fun.<br /><br />These later days,<br />Now that you’ve left<br />Something is missing<br />Emptiness leaves me sore<br />Nothing’s challenging anymore<br />And these new kids here?<br />They do their own thing.<br /><br />--Ryan ViloriaRVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15556740869349161871noreply@blogger.com0