One Cent Per Fired Synapse

(or rather, a penny for your thoughts)

From the Archive of Knowledge:
-A penny costs 1.4 cents to mint
-The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world
-Glenn Beck and Bill Maher both identify as Libertarians

How much thought is given these days?

“This is a wonderful capital to cover things in because there’s an awful lot of information available despite the growth of secrecy and so on. For example, when I had the Weekly and there would be an explosion in a country I didn’t know a damn thing about, and I had to go to press in two days. I had to write an article for a weekly – that’s a little more reflective than a daily story. You can have room to move and a little extra time to give it depth. So what do you do? If it’s a country that depends on, say, copper, you go to the Bureau of Mines in the Interior Department and you get the latest report on copper. And the report on the copper industry will give you a sense of the basic social-economic factors that are working in that country, and you’ll understand it better. If it’s soybeans, you go to the agriculture department and get the latest few crop reports. I got a good hell of a news story before the Korean War when I discovered that the Kuomintang in China were buying soybean futures as if they knew something was coming, and then there was a Senate investigation, and they did know something.”

--I.F. Stone, discussing the merits of true investigative journalism

And I post it because I came across that paragraph right before Laura Ling and Euna Lee were released from North Korea, after they were captured doing what any good journalist is supposed to do.

More driving tips:

-When driving on the left lane, don’t dive through the middle lane to the right lane in order to get to your exit. Not only is that extraordinarily dangerous, but it considerably slows down traffic as well. If you must go across an entire highway, move one lane at a time, keeping careful watch of your speed.

-Seat belts, Seat belts, Seat belts.

-Look in the rear view mirror once in a while. It won’t kill you, and it might actually save you and people around you some aggravation.

It's A Televised World

From the Archive of Knowledge
-There are more TVs than Americans in the United States.
-One in every four people in the United States has been on TV.
-Shakespeare's family was illiterate, but no TVs were involved.

Further Road Thoughts
-People need at least one, but preferably two, hands to steer. Knees or elbows will not suffice.
-Ever notice that Lexus makes great cars but are owned by people who can't drive? Maybe that's just me.
-If there are ever clogged exit lanes on the highway, please do NOT try to cut people off deep into the lane. Not only is it very rude to all those who waited, but more often than not, you end up blocking traffic anyway. You become a very unsafe and very dickish road hazard.
-A few light, sporadic drops of water on your windshield will not mean you will skid out of control. Don't slow down by twenty miles out of panic!
-People need to use their turn signals. It's quite literally a flick of the wrist!
-If you're in the left or middle lanes and you see everyone swerving around you, maybe you're the road hazard.
-I still hate minivans.
-For the love of God, either use a headset/bluetooth or hang the phone up.

A Thought
When someone says, "You can't talk like that to me, I'm a full-grown adult," then perhaps they're not. Especially if they're watching TV while driving.

Rocket Man

In honor of the 40th Anniversary of the first Lunar Landing on July 20, I present to you the Apollo 11 Edition:

Da Eagle Has Liz-zanded
The Times: To commemorate the anniversary, Buzz Aldrin has teamed with Quincy Jones, Snoop Dogg, Talib Kweli, and Soulja Boy to create a rap single and video.

Don't worry, all proceeds are going to Aldrin's non-profit foundation ShareSpace.

Coincidence?
The CIA, eight years to the day after Apollo 11 landed on the Moon, revealed documents showing that the Agency had conducted mind-control experiments.

Solitudious
In the Apollo 11 Command Module, Michael Collins lost radio contact with Earth 30 times with a length of 48 minutes each for a total length of 1,440 minutes of isolation.

Something to keep in mind the next time you feel slightly claustrophobic on the CTA.

Trickle-On Economics Update, Space Edition
According to current inflation rates, the Apollo 11 mission cost $578,000,000, give or take a couple tens-of-thousands.

One Giant Leap for Mankind
Notable events to happen after the landing but on July 20:
-The Viking 1 Lander reaches the surface of Mars
-Hank Aaron hits his 755th and final home run
-Gisele Bündchen is born
-Canada becomes the fourth nation in the world to legalize same-sex marriage

Let's Hear it for Citizen Journalism

Because it allows me to continue the practice of/homage to QT:



We Have Seen the Present, And It Does Not Work
Alex Astilean has created a human powered treadmill on wheels called the Speedfit. Very convenient when you don't want your feet to touch the ground yet have the audacity to jog outside.

Trickle-On Economics Update
Several people have been charged (approx.) $23,148,855,308,184,500 on their Visa BUXX prepaid credit cards.

Modern Education + The Criminal Mind =
A Portage man was sentenced to three years in prison for stealing over $2,000 from his Dunken Donuts workplace after his boss denied him a loan in an attempt to stop himself from doing something "stupid."

What Recession?
News item: "A $43 million estate in Aspen, Colo. is the largest single-family residence to be sold in the United States so far this year...The 25,000-square-foot mansion has 11 bedrooms (including the guest house), 15 bathrooms, a gym, four powder rooms, a wine cellar, and a pool."
The buyer was not named, but what are the odds that he bought it with a Visa BUXX card?

Bonus:
A little bit of an explanation: Dave Chappelle made a "secret" appearance last night, expecting to perform for about two hundred people. However, due to Twitter, Facebook, and trusty word-of-mouth, Chappelle attracted in his estimate four-to-five thousand people. He did not bring the necessary equipment to handle that many fans (nor did he bring security or an entourage), so the surprise show fizzled. Still, it was something of a treat for fans, and I have to extend some kudos to Chappelle for thoughtfully and sincerely keeping the crowd largely under control.

Dave Chappelle at Pioneer Square

Because I owe it...

Does Topher Grace provide free and open elections?

... to myself and to others to at least write online with some amount of regularity, like a literary e-bran muffin. I write to strive to think to complete. Not necessarily in that order, however.

For a while now, I've been thinking about continuing a version of the former Quick Takes column by Zay N. Smith in the Chicago Sun-Times (and yes, he's printed some of my suggestions before. Woo!). The column was a funny take on current events, spliced bits of helpful and/or random trivia. The humor was spot on, the brief news bulletins were full of perspective, and the tidbits were very much engaging. But most of all, in my ADD-riddled mind, the delivery was often key to its charm and wit.

If I continue in Smith's style, that means I would have to practice quite a bit with each and every category that Smith used. While I'm poor at starting good habits, I'm open to the idea of taking it slow with perhaps just one category at a time. I wish there was a QT archive on the Sun-Times' website for the sake of reference. Additionally, I can't use the QT name, since it's been (I guess) retired and I really should forge my own identity anyway.

For the sake of practice...

From the Archive of Knowledge:
-KFC is the most requested final meal of death-row inmates
-A lone, common house cat rendered the entire Stephen Island Wren species extinct
-Actor Topher Grace is exactly one year older than the island nation of Kiribati
-Hijinks is the only word in the English language with three consecutive dotted letters

Also, a special congratulations to Savanady and Matt on their wonderful marriage. Though I've signed the guestbook, danced with the bride, shook the groom's hand, and bought a gift, is it still possible to give my blessings to the happy couple through an electronic format? If not, I will be more than happy to do so in person after the honeymoon. There's no such thing as having too many well wishes, after all.