Friday, July 24, 2009
It's A Televised World
From the Archive of Knowledge
-There are more TVs than Americans in the United States.
-One in every four people in the United States has been on TV.
-Shakespeare's family was illiterate, but no TVs were involved.
Further Road Thoughts
-People need at least one, but preferably two, hands to steer. Knees or elbows will not suffice.
-Ever notice that Lexus makes great cars but are owned by people who can't drive? Maybe that's just me.
-If there are ever clogged exit lanes on the highway, please do NOT try to cut people off deep into the lane. Not only is it very rude to all those who waited, but more often than not, you end up blocking traffic anyway. You become a very unsafe and very dickish road hazard.
-A few light, sporadic drops of water on your windshield will not mean you will skid out of control. Don't slow down by twenty miles out of panic!
-People need to use their turn signals. It's quite literally a flick of the wrist!
-If you're in the left or middle lanes and you see everyone swerving around you, maybe you're the road hazard.
-I still hate minivans.
-For the love of God, either use a headset/bluetooth or hang the phone up.
When someone says, "You can't talk like that to me, I'm a full-grown adult," then perhaps they're not. Especially if they're watching TV while driving.